So you think you’re a boss? – The psychology of the successful leader

So you think you’re a boss? – The psychology of the successful leader

The successful leader of the 21st century is more aware than ever that his or her people are the steam engine of this era. While the mechanization of the society and bureaucratic leaders of the past centuries were the success symbols back then, nothing could be less true today.

The contemporary world is craving for humanized businesses. As people work longer and longer hours, businesses loom as their substitute family, village and social network. Additionally since technology is outdating itself by evolving faster than ever, the only remaining constant in the business landscape remains its people. The leaders being aware of this power of the new economy are leading the way to success.

The psychology of the successful leader is characterized by the following personal and interpersonal traits.

People are wired to connect.

We may not like the fact that we are wired such that our well-being depends on our connections with others, but the facts are the facts. The brain-to-brain connection is the ultimate social glue that serves as foundation of any social interaction. AND a boss leader rocks this !

A successful leader embraces, in fact, her or his humanness and doesn’t try to numb this need away, which each one of us carry in our DNA. Not only does the boss leader embraces it on a personal level, but transforms it as the core component of the culture of the business.

Being aware of this chemistry in our brains, leaders also know WHY they’ve  to tap on this as a matter of life of death to the survival of their company. Surveys have proven that beyond just making people feel good, employees actually liking their boss was a prime driver of both productivity and the length of time they stayed at that job.

First rule of being a leader: Everything is your fault. Deal with it.

Inspirational with a clear vision.

The emotional task of leaders is to help subordinates get to and stay as close as possible to their “sweet spots”. Knowing what motivates people, can help you better allocate tasks and projects to the different employees and enhance your recruitment by the same token.

By communicating a clear vision, through actually talking and involving the whole organization & creating a (huge) vision board, as replacement of these soul-destroying tableaus, hanging in the different spaces of the building, can help tap into the subconscious mind of fellows and remind them of where the company is heading to and for which values we stand together. And luckily distract them from the depressing industrial carpets and fake potted plants. Efficiency.

Another key point that makes a leader a real boss leader is that (s)he actually leads by example, with other words: (s)he is constantly executing and walking the talk, before even giving a talk. Even if we assume people ain’t looking they are noticing more than what you could ever imagine. Everyone saw that spot on your shirt, sorry not sorry.


“Employees in subordinate positions who suppress their anger are four times as likely to develop cardiovascular disease as top executives. Loneliness reduces cardiovascular and immune function.” Scientists have proved this, so it has some substance, I guess.

That’s exactly what differentiate a basic leader from a boss leader: they listen, care and try to understand what the team members are going through more than what themselves are about to say.

“Don’t mistake me, but with all the stuff I’ve on my mind: meetings, conference calls, useless paperwork, polar bears and half-marathons, I could not buy on this sh*. Promotions and raises always worked out anyway.” If that’s the mindset please send a resignation letter as x-mas present to your staff instead and for once. New years, new starts and new bosses, please.

Honestly given the choice, people don’t want to work for a toxic boss at nearly any wage – expect to get enough ‘screw’ you money to quit with security. Bye Felicia.


They’ve a caring personality and are real people persons. So far the interpersonal skills may have been understood as crucial to be a real boss leader, hopefully.

Real bosses manage the “I-You” relationships, because the feelings of their fellows more than matter to them, they change them. They make others feel felt. Cheesyyy. Well, if you cannot believe a lil senior student and you’re the kind of person swearing by well known scientists of very veryy veryyy renowned universities.  Than you asked for it.

Jerome Kagan from the Harvard. Harvard. Harvard university noted from one of his researches that human beings inherit an even stronger biological bias for kindness, compassion and cooperation, love and nurture – especially towards those in need. And because emotions are so contagious, every boss at every level needs to remember (s)he can make matters either worse or better.

In other words the sum total of goodness vastly outweighs that of meanness. Obviously.

Similarly creating a safe place where everyone can vent on a healthy and respectful way, okay right they’ll not always be, will spare you additional stress for not meeting deadlines because of ill colleagues, stressed out and procrastinating ones. And as a bonus for your good heart, you’ll get good vibes at the office.

Simply put, if machines have ventilators to keep them cool, we as human beings need at least some compassion, a listening ear, a sense of accomplishment and recognition of our humanness at our workplace. Period.


Now that you think you are a boss, do you actually think you know yourself?

Do you know how well you actually score on these traits above? Sincerely? Do you know your strengths, weaknesses? In which area of your life are you acing it? And which ones are actually being denied?

Going deeper. Which emotions, thoughts, behaviors are you reinforcing, feeling, repeating to yourself most of the day?

What are your patterns? Relationally, emotionally, in your hustle, in your diet, in your communication style, et cetera?

What makes you, YOU? If you could define yourself truthfully, what would you point out, how would you talk about yourself as being a third person of yourself? Told you, stuff getting mind hurting.

Once you know where you’re good at, you’ll know on which strengths to capitalize. Thereby when you know yourself, you know what makes you the happiest and as long as you know this, you know where you’ll win on. As a consequence you’ll stop spending time you don’t have doing things you don’t want to do with people you don’t like. Time management. Remember, speed matters.

After all, once you understand yourself and are honest about it, you start to accept yourself instead of being mad at people for calling you out on things you don’t want to be exposed..

To capitalizing on




and relationships.

Let’s boss.

With lots of love,



PS: If you are giving more than you are getting, you’ve leverage for life.

Think about it.

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